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Dearest Journal,
I guess this is it right? We’ve had so many highs and so many desperate lows that I can hardly count.
Pft.
Just kidding.
Honestly though, it’s been a very interesting, fun, and hard quarter. Words cannot describe the crazy that was these last few months, and somewhere down in my deep deep DEEP dark heart, I really did enjoy every minute of it. I guess I don’t want to get too nostalgic because I go on and on when that happens, so I’ll just recap two or three amazing things that happened in Spring Quarter.
The first is most definitely my pledge brothers. I did not realize how protective and loving I would get with my pbros. That kind of sentiment is usually reserved for extremely close family, and usually that just includes my parents and sisters. I think I came to this conclusion the night that we met up in a garage for the second time this quarter right before KP. I looked around me and saw everyone deep in to their speeches, trying so hard to make sure they not only represented themselves well, but each other well, and I felt this overwhelming sense of love as well as anger. Love because this had become my family, and anger because I felt their fear and didn’t want them to be afraid. I remember just standing there thinking, “No one gets to do this to my family. No one.” Luckily, I didn’t lose too much of my cool, but right there and then I knew that these people had become closer than just friends.
The second would most definitely be our Friends mission. That week was probably one of the hardest weeks ever. I was not in a state to deal with people, I felt very alone, and very unbalanced. After my small tiff the night of the Friends mission, I realized that I shouldn’t expect things to run perfectly just because I say they should. I learned that I should keep people accountable, but not to be as hard as I was on every one that week. And I also learned that no matter how mad I was or how low I felt, my pledge brothers would always have my back no matter what kind of mood I was in (and believe me when I say, I was in the worst of moods that night of the Friends mission). It was really after the mission when we all went back to Rieber Terrace and stayed up sooo incredibly late with Koya who was editing, that I really realized that these people were some of the most genuine, fun, and loving people I could ever ask for. I learned to really appreciate my brothers even more that night.
And finally, I would have to say that the last night of retreat was very enlightening to this whole process. I remember at one point talking to a certain active about why the pledging quarter was so important, specifically to her. We were sitting down together talking and she pointed to everyone around and said to look at the people around us. They were her family, and she would do anything for them and that this was the reason why pledging was so important. Because the Fraternity is an extension of your community as pledges. That’s why she was so hard on us and expected us to do well, because her family had to go through the exact same process, and through that process, it bonded them all together.
And I guess that’s what this final journal is about. It truly is about the bonds I’ve made, and looking back on that night in April, I can now understand what this active meant. It’s not my drive or ambition that makes this serious for me anymore. It’s my pledge brothers that make this serious for me. They are now the major reason why I am here and because of that I want to dedicate this last journal to all 19 of them. I love you guys!
I guess this is it right? We’ve had so many highs and so many desperate lows that I can hardly count.
Pft.
Just kidding.
Honestly though, it’s been a very interesting, fun, and hard quarter. Words cannot describe the crazy that was these last few months, and somewhere down in my deep deep DEEP dark heart, I really did enjoy every minute of it. I guess I don’t want to get too nostalgic because I go on and on when that happens, so I’ll just recap two or three amazing things that happened in Spring Quarter.
The first is most definitely my pledge brothers. I did not realize how protective and loving I would get with my pbros. That kind of sentiment is usually reserved for extremely close family, and usually that just includes my parents and sisters. I think I came to this conclusion the night that we met up in a garage for the second time this quarter right before KP. I looked around me and saw everyone deep in to their speeches, trying so hard to make sure they not only represented themselves well, but each other well, and I felt this overwhelming sense of love as well as anger. Love because this had become my family, and anger because I felt their fear and didn’t want them to be afraid. I remember just standing there thinking, “No one gets to do this to my family. No one.” Luckily, I didn’t lose too much of my cool, but right there and then I knew that these people had become closer than just friends.
The second would most definitely be our Friends mission. That week was probably one of the hardest weeks ever. I was not in a state to deal with people, I felt very alone, and very unbalanced. After my small tiff the night of the Friends mission, I realized that I shouldn’t expect things to run perfectly just because I say they should. I learned that I should keep people accountable, but not to be as hard as I was on every one that week. And I also learned that no matter how mad I was or how low I felt, my pledge brothers would always have my back no matter what kind of mood I was in (and believe me when I say, I was in the worst of moods that night of the Friends mission). It was really after the mission when we all went back to Rieber Terrace and stayed up sooo incredibly late with Koya who was editing, that I really realized that these people were some of the most genuine, fun, and loving people I could ever ask for. I learned to really appreciate my brothers even more that night.
And finally, I would have to say that the last night of retreat was very enlightening to this whole process. I remember at one point talking to a certain active about why the pledging quarter was so important, specifically to her. We were sitting down together talking and she pointed to everyone around and said to look at the people around us. They were her family, and she would do anything for them and that this was the reason why pledging was so important. Because the Fraternity is an extension of your community as pledges. That’s why she was so hard on us and expected us to do well, because her family had to go through the exact same process, and through that process, it bonded them all together.
And I guess that’s what this final journal is about. It truly is about the bonds I’ve made, and looking back on that night in April, I can now understand what this active meant. It’s not my drive or ambition that makes this serious for me anymore. It’s my pledge brothers that make this serious for me. They are now the major reason why I am here and because of that I want to dedicate this last journal to all 19 of them. I love you guys!
